I'm a Chrisitan...and my last name is not Grey!

"Be transformed by the renewing of your mind"

And so dear brothers and sisters., I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice. This is truly the way to worship him. Don't copy the behaviors and customs of this world but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you. (Romans 12:1-2)

Donna Partow once wrote, "The mind is a battlefield and will either help or hinder our goal of becoming the woman/man God want's us to be". 

Recently I began reading 50 Shades Darker (#2 book in the 50 shades trilogy). At first it was just building up to the exciting premier of the movie but soon ...and rather quickly I realized there was a reason I had packed these books away 2 years ago. As I turned each page and became more entrenched with the story the spiritual battle in my mind began to intensify. A stirring began deep in my soul and slowly I found myself being robbed of the joy I had the previous week and that joy was being twisted with desires that I had vowed to steer clear of until I was married. Some would think this book is "hot" and the "desires were what they needed" but in reality a desire is not desirable if there is guilt to follow. (at least not in my book). One evening I decided I was going to take a bath and read ... before I knew it the water was cold and I was on chapter 4 or 5 (considering I was on chapter 2 when I started) I began to realize this book was REALLY pulling me in...I didn't like the feeling of being SO into a book that I was sitting in cold water and unaware of time. It may sound weird but to those of us who are avid readers that's usually a sign of a "Good Book" ... again ... How good is it if it leaves a dark feeling??

Daniel and I shared some jokes and some comments were made about it being "mommy porn".. Ya ever heard that saying there is always some truth in every "just kidding"??? Well regardless if indeed the content really bothered him...the comment was enough to stir my soul. It wasn't but a day later that my friend and amazing Sister in Christ sent me a comment via FB and then a short and simple message... I may be wrong but I do believe God laid that comment and message on her heart! She is often my third strand when I need a special prayer. The spiritual accountability really put me on the spot. It was uncomfortable and for a split second offensive...until I put it into perspective of "why" did this bother me so...the only answer was because she was RIGHT!

Still not %100 convinced that I "needed" to trash the books I decided to look into the debate other Christians had for disapproving of the book and movie. Honestly at first I was very disturbed by the amount of judgment that goes into describing sexual intimacy in a marriage. Not everyone knows what is kept sacred behind the bedroom doors in a marriage but to hear a "spiced up" intimacy level between husband and wife talked about as if it were a sin to enjoy your husband/wife really discredited their opinions for me. The point made in one of the last videos I watched was about Erotica and Pornography. At first I rolled my eyes because well... we have a porn free household and have vowed to not allow that in our home... then the lady described it. She said, if you are reading something that is so vulgar and erotic that you mentally begin to picture the actions taking place then how is that any different than pornography? If God looked at your thoughts would he be pleased?

Right there... I stopped dead in my tracks. The enemy of course was continuing to fight a tough battle and the warfare continued until I ready my Bible before church on Sunday morning.

"So I advise you to live according to your new life in the Holy Spirit. Then you won't be doing what your sinful nature craves. The old sinful nature loves to do evil while the Holy Spirit wants to do the opposite. These two forces are constantly fighting each other and your choices are never free from this conflict, but when you are directed by the Holy Spirit, you are no longer subject to the law. When you follow the desires of your sinful nature your lives will produce these evil results:  (It lists several and please read the scripture for yourself to check your own choices) but the one that stood out to me was "Impure thoughts".  (Galatians 5:16-24)

This was the moment when I had my answer... the images and content produced by reading this book weren't "pure" and I didn't like the shame felt when I thought about God seeing my thoughts as I read this book. The book was not  "making me better" it was steering me from a path that God has designed for me. I know that the path of the enemy leads to destruction... I've traveled that path several times myself and have been hurt and burned enough .. but the Path of the Father leads to a purpose filled destination and the answers to my prayers both present and future.

Sunday morning we were all reading our Bibles and the boys were SUPPOSED to be reading theirs. We saw Xander get up and go to the bathroom (he already went) ..long story short he disobeyed and Camden told him to do it...As we disciplined them I found myself saying "You are the older brother and it is wrong for you to tell your brother to deliberately disobey"...

My sister recently accepted Christ as her savior and I have been seeing his work in her life. It's amazing... and how dare I make a decision that I know is not a good example to those that God brings into my life not to mention myself? How dare I mislead my friends and sister to think that this book and movie are acceptable? We are Christians... and our last names are NOT Grey. We belong to God and it's expected that our lives are different than those who are not. It doesn't make us perfect but if we don't show that we can be "selective" with what we expose ourselves and our families to then we are truly not living a life separate from that of the world.

My devotion this week has been about "selectivity".... One of the qualities of the Proverbs 31 woman is that she was selective. It's challenging to not choose the path of least resistance on some things however an important question we should all ask ourselves is ... Is this the healthiest thing for my spirit, soul, and body? Does it make me a reflection of the woman God is creating me to be? Does the decision cause you to be in bondage with shame, guilt, or the need to hide something? or does it put you at peace? Scripture tells us "You can enter God's Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way. But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only few ever find it". (Matthew 7:12-13)

It is my prayer that you take a few moments and review the scriptures yourself and if you are contemplating watching the movie or reading the books  I pray that God will radically change your heart and you will shut that door to the enemy. Don't allow him into your homes or families...especially your marriages!